Friday, March 18, 2011
Juneau, you know.
Kevin arrived in Juneau Alaska a bit ago. He called me from outside his motel to let me know he had arrived. I pulled his motel up on Google Earth and zoomed way in. I told him to wave and he did but I still couldn't see him. Bummer, man.
How to get a free gift card from Walmart
(This happened to someone who is not me.)
How to get a free gift card from Walmart:
Go to the Sporting Goods Department and buy a box of ammunition.
Walk out of the store, look into your bag and notice you bought the wrong caliber ammo.
Walk back in and ask for an exchange.
Notice that the women in the returns department appear frightened by the ammunition. They will tell you there is a company policy that all ammo sales are final.
Ask them to call for a supervisor. Wait.
When the supervisor arrives, she will tell you there is a no returns policy on ammunition.
Show her your receipt with the time of purchase on it. Tell her she can check the surveillance video and it will clearly show you exiting the store and immediately returning, making it impossible to have tampered with the ammo. Politely add that the policy is not clearly disclosed and actually makes no sense.
The supervisor will apologize and tell you that she doesn’t have the authority to allow an exchange.
Ask the supervisor why she responded in the first place if she doesn’t have the authority. Ask for a manager. Wait. Remain calm.
When the manager arrives, explain your problem and remind him he can check the security video to see there is no funny business going on. He will tell you he cannot accept the merchandise back. Remind the manager that policies are in place to serve as guidelines and that human managers should be empowered to deviate from policies at times as a means of satisfying customers. Otherwise the stores would be fully automated. He will tell you there’s a lot of “red tape” with the ATF as far as ammo sales is concerned, and will still refuse the return. Remind him that neither gun shop down the street operates under any such regulation. Ask him to confirm that you are now stuck with a $24 box of ammo for which you have absolutely no use.
The manager will offer you a $15 gift card for your inconvenience.
You can apply the gift card to a box of the correct ammo. You will have paid $33 for the second box of ammo, $9 too much. You will also be stuck with a box of ammo you can’t use, but you can then trade that box of ammo for the correct caliber at the gun shop down the street.
Or you can buy a can opener with the gift card.
How to get a free gift card from Walmart:
Go to the Sporting Goods Department and buy a box of ammunition.
Walk out of the store, look into your bag and notice you bought the wrong caliber ammo.
Walk back in and ask for an exchange.
Notice that the women in the returns department appear frightened by the ammunition. They will tell you there is a company policy that all ammo sales are final.
Ask them to call for a supervisor. Wait.
When the supervisor arrives, she will tell you there is a no returns policy on ammunition.
Show her your receipt with the time of purchase on it. Tell her she can check the surveillance video and it will clearly show you exiting the store and immediately returning, making it impossible to have tampered with the ammo. Politely add that the policy is not clearly disclosed and actually makes no sense.
The supervisor will apologize and tell you that she doesn’t have the authority to allow an exchange.
Ask the supervisor why she responded in the first place if she doesn’t have the authority. Ask for a manager. Wait. Remain calm.
When the manager arrives, explain your problem and remind him he can check the security video to see there is no funny business going on. He will tell you he cannot accept the merchandise back. Remind the manager that policies are in place to serve as guidelines and that human managers should be empowered to deviate from policies at times as a means of satisfying customers. Otherwise the stores would be fully automated. He will tell you there’s a lot of “red tape” with the ATF as far as ammo sales is concerned, and will still refuse the return. Remind him that neither gun shop down the street operates under any such regulation. Ask him to confirm that you are now stuck with a $24 box of ammo for which you have absolutely no use.
The manager will offer you a $15 gift card for your inconvenience.
You can apply the gift card to a box of the correct ammo. You will have paid $33 for the second box of ammo, $9 too much. You will also be stuck with a box of ammo you can’t use, but you can then trade that box of ammo for the correct caliber at the gun shop down the street.
Or you can buy a can opener with the gift card.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
The Rug
Last week I had the pleasure of assisting a guy whose house was burglarized. He is a Moraccan National living in the US for eight years now. Poor fella went to work in the morning and came home in the evening to a mess. Suspects unknown had pried open his back door, tossed his entire house and stolen various articles of value, e.g., TV's, laptops, clothing, jewelry, etc. Also stolen were three valuable Persian rugs his mother had shipped him from Morocco. The guy helped me measure out the footprints of the rugs to get an idea of their size, should they somehow be recovered (yeah right). I stood back and took a look at the living room where the biggest rug had previously been and I said to the guy, "That's a bummer man. I bet that rug really tied the room together." He agreed that it did.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezQLP1dj_t8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezQLP1dj_t8
Friday, March 4, 2011
Speedo guy
Last night I got a text message from a long distance number I did not recognize. The texter and I engaged in the following exchange:
John: Dov. It’s John. Have you seen my speedo?
Me: Yeah, i know. It’s SOOOO hot!
John: No. i mean i left it at the y.
Me: Your butt looks like granite in that thing.
John: No dude. Seriously. I lost my speedo. The red and black swimming one. Did you or someone else pick it up?
Me: Oh sorry dude I thought you were john wilson. No I haven’t seen it.
John: Oh. Alright. Thanks man.
So I slept all night and of course this morning I felt bad. My juvenile hijinks may have prevented the recovery of John’s Speedo. So I texted him, “Dude you should look for your speedo. I’m sure you figured out you texted the wrong number.”
So far no reply.
I’ve drawn a few conclusions and have some questions based on this conversation. Beginning at the top:
What kind of name is Dov?
I think John is at least thirty since he uses punctuation and caps (for the most part). And no emoticons.
I also think John is straight. He apparently also wears another type of Speedo, the non-swimming one. I’m not sure what that’s all about but I’m sure it doesn’t make him gay. Besides he uses the word “dude” a lot (which also makes him white, I suppose). On the other hand, he is fond of the brand name “Speedo.” Not the generic term “swim trunks” or “male bikini bottoms” or some such. He (and Dov) live the Speedo culture which raises questions all over again.
John obviously swims with a group, perhaps a team. Maybe adult water polo? What do they have at the YMCA?
Your thoughts?
John: Dov. It’s John. Have you seen my speedo?
Me: Yeah, i know. It’s SOOOO hot!
John: No. i mean i left it at the y.
Me: Your butt looks like granite in that thing.
John: No dude. Seriously. I lost my speedo. The red and black swimming one. Did you or someone else pick it up?
Me: Oh sorry dude I thought you were john wilson. No I haven’t seen it.
John: Oh. Alright. Thanks man.
So I slept all night and of course this morning I felt bad. My juvenile hijinks may have prevented the recovery of John’s Speedo. So I texted him, “Dude you should look for your speedo. I’m sure you figured out you texted the wrong number.”
So far no reply.
I’ve drawn a few conclusions and have some questions based on this conversation. Beginning at the top:
What kind of name is Dov?
I think John is at least thirty since he uses punctuation and caps (for the most part). And no emoticons.
I also think John is straight. He apparently also wears another type of Speedo, the non-swimming one. I’m not sure what that’s all about but I’m sure it doesn’t make him gay. Besides he uses the word “dude” a lot (which also makes him white, I suppose). On the other hand, he is fond of the brand name “Speedo.” Not the generic term “swim trunks” or “male bikini bottoms” or some such. He (and Dov) live the Speedo culture which raises questions all over again.
John obviously swims with a group, perhaps a team. Maybe adult water polo? What do they have at the YMCA?
Your thoughts?
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