Con guascas.
Thursday, May 23, 2024
Wednesday, May 1, 2024
Bad Sight Reading
I generally sight-read. As I age I have noticed a tendency to make mistakes when sight-reading. Only occasionally. Little split second misreadings upon first glance of the word or phrase (almost always completely ridiculous). Followed by an immediate correction in my brain. But the damage is done.
I shared a dozen or more stupid brain glitches with people when I first started noticing, before thinking to document them. So the following list is incomplete:
On a van
After school Karaoke (karate)
Unwrapping a gift of cologne
O'Keefe (CKfree)
In a magazine
Kleenex final issue (facial tissue)
On a billboard
Krav Maga show (Mega RV show)
On a news website
Wallenda challenges Nigeria Falls
On a box of tea
MADE FROM BLACK LIVES MATTER
(BLACK TEA LEAVES)
On a baseball cap
Proud Mary Mom (Proud Navy Mom)
On a protest sign
Whiskey Dorkers need a raise (Disney Workers)
On a T-shirt
LaundryAcademy.com
(LandryAcademy.com)
In the news:
“President talks stock market and taxes during awkward ceremony for minority businesses”
(award ceremony)
In the news:
Supermoms wow sky-gazers for only time this year (Supermoon)
In the news:
“We disagree with the Chinaman.” (Chairman)
On a cell phone commercial:
LEAST AFFORDABLE NETWORKS (LARGEST, MOST DEPENDABLE 4G LTE NETWORKS)
In the news:
TRUMP HOSTING MORON AT MT VERNON (Macron)
On a storefront:
Everybody Threading
(Eyebrow Threading)
On a store awning:
Theft-Electro
(Thrift-Electro)
On a store window:
Senior Herpes
(Senior Helpers)
A YouTube ad:
Putting your pet down?
(Pet odor getting you down?)
On a bag of potato chips:
Free gluten
(Gluten free)
On a bumper sticker
Proud parent of a SIRLOIN (SAILOR)
On a transcript
College of the Crayons (Canyons)
In a police training email
Black Role Players Needed (Block)
In the refrigerated case
Gordo’s goose dip (cheese dip)
On a package
Unslathered butter (unsalted)
On a toilet seat
Joe Biden (Joy Bidet)
On a building
Trivia Church (Thrive)
On a document
Marmicide county (Miami-Dade)
On a tuna can
Children of the Sea (overheard)
On a billboard
Rutland Farms Exists (EXIT 55)
In a headline
The Biden Waffle House (White House)
On a business card
7401 Meatloaf Ave. (Metcalf)
On a podcast
Seeing the Real Elvis of War (Evils)
On a building
St. Pete CRAP (CPAP)
On a shampoo bottle
Redneck Color Safe shampoo (Redken)
In an email invitation
Thank you and we look forward to suing you.
On a book cover
Pray without cussing
(ceasing)
At Sunken Gardens
Hosiery center (history)
On a downtown city guide
The city is alive with excrement… (excitement)
At a computer station at the driver's license office
For toasters only (testers)
Korn
The local Kiwanis Club is holding a Korntoss for Kids event (among other activities) on June 8.
I’m pleased they decided to clean up the name, particularly in this instance.
Ox Tail Danger
Walking to the car in the office parking lot I stepped on an oxtail bone. Nearly busted my ankle. I need to be more careful.
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